17Twenty

E124 || Robert Hunt || Nobody Cares

February 27, 2023 Season 4 Episode 8
17Twenty
E124 || Robert Hunt || Nobody Cares
Show Notes Transcript

This week the 17Twenty crew sits down in studio with Robert Hunt, co-author of Nobody Cares and executive coach who is helping CEOs, presidents and business owners here in DFW who want to be the best version of themselves.

This episode is a true conversation and is abundant with nuggets of wisdom from Robert's experiences, his book, and the things he's learning by leading groups of executives in DFW.

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Grab your copy of the Mountain Mover Manual: How to Live Intentionally, Lead with Purpose, and Achieve Your Greatest Potential, by Kevin Carey

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[0:00] What's up Mountain Movers.  Welcome back to the 17Twenty podcast I think it's always cool when you're connected with somebody on social media.
And Robert I've followed you on LinkedIn for years now seeing those CEO forms and you know the connection with Daniel Harris and.
And now meeting your face-to-face for the first time and.
We had some fun off are conversations it was insightful there's Faith there was funny all that so hopefully we could bring that on the recording now but Robert hunt welcome to the show and so much yeah I always enjoy a good like, pre-record we've set the tone for what's about to happen.

[0:35] Pretty funny so far as getting all the way to have seen a little boy before pent-up get it off your chest yeah right right um so.

[0:43] To the business of the podcast we usually start out with, I really like the generic question who's Robert tell the sheriff elevator pitch if you're stuck how do you explain who you are I don't know however you want put it on stuck in an elevator how would I explain how I like that's how it started lighting up the elevator well stalkers like here we go to the zoo oh right yeah know we kind of started a long time ago where we were trying to wrestle with how we introduce gas and I said let's just let the guests introduce themselves who are you it doesn't even like doing an elevator speech I mean I know when you get sales training you're supposed to do that and I've just never I've always resisted resisted it because it just sounds so trite but when I do introduce myself I usually skip my work stuff because that's not as much fun as my life and so I am married to the most amazing woman I've married 25 years this year this year and she is the most beautiful woman in any room I go and she's my best friend and she makes life great and and the cool part is a couple years ago she came to work for our business so I get to hang out with their everyday we didn't get along well so I had to ask her not to work for us per se but she hangs out and she is the heartbeat of our organization she loves all her clients and she's the concierge.

[1:55] So at our monthly CEO group meetings she shows up gives everybody a hug how's your wife what it's going on she knows everyone's birthdays anniversaries she remembers everything and she just brings joy into the room and she's cool so we have two adult children Lauren is 32 just got married last September and James who's going to be 21 and already planning for his first drink.

[2:15] It really was going to be a Disneyland at the Star Wars Cantina first and quotes yeah 400 and I've always had said let's see if you want to buy something to drink you're curious let's have it together yes I'm you want yeah it's not a big deal I said you have to like you have to force yourself to like alcohol know who wow vodka that's so good then go that way love the burn so I take the mystery out of it but he's already thinking he's going to go to Eva which is a virtual reality gaming place that we started in Flower Mound cool have his first he wants to have a Tom Collins know what's the one you be smoking these days you put a little wood thing I told fashioned old-fashioned I mean I don't know I just like Bourbon Neat yeah a lot of people like old Fashions is so he's been seeing those in the little put the chips over it burn it so he's excited about that the old-fashioned is taken off in the leg curated cocktail space with all the leg glass Birdcage things in the present mocha mocha them up and all this big Square ice cube oh yeah which I thought you made those all but I want the place I was at the other day actually get a bag out of the freezer they're all pre-made ice cubes we here holding your cup like that's an old-fashioned.

[3:19] Your protectors going to take a sip and I got distracted thinking but okay so it said that down um we had a guest on the was talking about ice cubes right you and I wrapper know like how they Mass produce them and nobody actually make ice cube yes sorry today is a good day but not that one about how everybody buys them there is like one or two manufacturers of the crystal clear Kubo real in town and they all hold it yeah they buy from there he like two bucks a pop or something for each little super clear kid yeah well that can't be right your margin eating a pretty heavy on it maybe it's not two bucks but it's it was a very expensive ice cubes okay the places I go they don't.
Hello they're not they don't have the super clear they just have like this what a foggy behind everything in yeah right yeah the home freezer made these still taste like ice tea did it I wonder on your elevator also a rapper joke did it take you a while to.

[4:16] Get to that point and some effort and intentionality where your knee-jerk isn't about working career but it's about family and faith I don't know maybe out of default because I pushed away from a lot of that you know in my career.
I really wanted to have more impact in it and it just became a job for a long time and since I didn't really dig the job as I got one of my doc about you know and so I'd always talk about my kids or.
He used to say you'll see a picture of my kids and I take a pen out and dressing stick people and something that's a solid move, look yeah there's not a lot I could brag about it that I've done well in my life but I married way above my league yeah and she's so cool and so wonderful, so why would I talk about anything else you just pales by comparison until I get to be with her and enjoy life with her and and raising my kids has been a blessing and fun and what I do for a living is as executive coach.
A lot of people have jobs that nobody else is married to Kathy so that I think I start with that.
Yeah for my day job I do I'm an executive coach that runs CEO groups here in the DFW area been doing it for 10 years now.

[5:22] And I have great clients a lot of people do peer groups but my passion has been about building a community where you really could be real yeah and my exposure to peer groups early on was a lot of people who wanted to be seen as important coming together and brag about how rich and Powerful they were and then wanted to tell the people how to live their lives and I was exposed him a couple different size I thought God would never want to be in this group yeah so when I got when I heard about it I thought well how would I run it I want to be where you can be radically transparent or you can be real.
And then I want to be radically open minded because if someone tells you something and all you do is lock up well you're not going to change so we've got to have this mindset to at least listen to a long enough to figure out we always say listening long enough to know that they're right.

[6:07] It's easy to listen long enough to position your argument to tell them they're stupid but it's really hard to stay open-minded enough to listen long enough to go how could they possibly think that oh.

[6:17] And then you actually have to listen all the way and not be formulating your response because you're trying to figure out why are they right.
And if you change that perspective you gain so much more knowledge oh yeah so we make it radical transparency radical open-mindedness and then thoughtful.
And if you're not able to disagree and we're just going to I don't want to cause conflict you're not going to resolve anything when we were talking about core values off error.

[6:43] Does it get to a point where you have to fire somebody because they're not living up to that in those peer groups I've had asked a few people to leave over the years most of the time they self eliminate because don't come to the meetings because they don't feel like they're learning anything because they already know everything yeah burns out on them yeah I got better at choosing people which is why it's so hard to grow the business you know if you just want someone's got a pulse in a paycheck you know then it's easier to feel groups, but I've already built this expectation with my group members now if I bring someone in who doesn't want to play that way they're going to hate him.
And they're going to they're going to be mad at me for bringing in someone that just making me money and if you chase money that's the way to go but if I'm chasing impact.

[7:26] Then I got to choose people who are wanting to change and get better otherwise I'm not going to have any impact in their life.

[7:32] Yeah and like I think of the correlation of like youth ministry or going to speak to a high school or something like that where it's like.
Sometimes mentally have that expectation that they should have more figured out than they actually do so there's a little bit of Grace there like we're there to accelerate that learning curve, but it might be somebody's first time joining a peer group and it's like I give them a little Gracie if they can, kind of adapt they might not bleed all these core values they won't but maybe they share it there and they're my core values so they don't have to live up to my core values but they have to follow the rules of the group radical transparency radical open-mindedness and thoughtful disagreement and so I vet them very carefully before I let them be in the group they don't visit.

[8:09] And it doesn't matter who's in the group you matters that you came to learn and so it will who's in the group it doesn't matter, are you open-minded you can learn from a janitor nothing is standard but this is mindset that if you already think you're the smartest guy in the room not going to learn anything yeah it's kind of like you know, tell a different tale pull us through here until a story on top of a story but I wasn't fully bought in unlike being community in our church because I was like I don't need other people in on that so I did it a few times and it was unsuccessful was a disaster until I finally get fully bought in on saying like no here's something that I'm really screwing up right now what do you say about that now here's here's a place I need some help what do y'all have y'all ever done this before and like help me guide me through you know that sort of stuff it's only when you become fully bought in that there's a that the value starts to manifest itself otherwise your cake shaded and garden now you're picking it everything in these guys don't know anything and you're just most of the people all the people I work with are successful business owners they already know how to do stuff.

[9:02] I have people in construction industry and Healthcare and marketing and it's all very diverse but they all know how to do stuff so they don't need me to tell him or anyone elses for that matter tell him how to do stuff what they need to do is figure out why are you doing it.

[9:14] Because in most cases they know what they're supposed to do but they're just not getting it done yeah it could be that they lack.
The energy they're just so beat down I such a beat down you know it is to be in charge of your company every time you turn around somebody's got an issue sometimes you have to know something new everyday in the tank keeps changing the rules keep changing you have to be an expert at everything even if you don't do it you got to know as my CFO give me good advice because the new tax laws are changing he's saying something that doesn't apply anymore and so you have to know everything yes even from it in cyber security and sales and marketing HR my gosh you know so there's an emotional beat down that they carry and there's a bit of the Imposter syndrome.
That I don't want to look like I don't have my act together but who can with all the things the CEO is expected to know nobody can do that job us but as if you focus on having to be the expert in the smartest person in the room you're going to fail.

[10:06] But if you can learn to mentor and encourage your team and to help them be the best version of themselves then you win by pouring into them.
But it's when you think you got to know it all and do it all and your it's a recipe for disaster because we don't know any better when we're still predominantly we don't know any better when we're stepping in those positions because we don't have that mentorship it's like.
Here's your next title rock and roll really like right all right I guess I have to have it all together and enough time to do this successfully you start to believe I can do anything okay.
But not with excellence and so then it builds this whole thing of well the a got no clothes but no one's going to say anything to him you know listen you're you're doing this wrong with who would say that to their boss that's why you come to a group like that where you can be radically transparent and go I have no idea what I'm doing yeah, and then the group can go oi what's going on and you can talk and you can learn and you still don't have to worry about looking like you're insecure in front of your own employees which I would wish people would be more transparent with their employees, because they already know you don't know what you know yeah they just haven't said it to your face yeah well and I'll credit Daniel with a lot of that because Daniel was in his Roberts peer group, renaissance renaissance executive red worms Renaissance executive forum.

[11:18] And we talked about it and that was then white boarding at his office like when you start a group dude.
No I didn't I didn't know that was okay that was around that time he was in there and I don't know I don't know how long he was in there but during that time it was like we need to create some in construction, and that's what spun up Daniel me and Preston's Colby Matt you guys have your own group yes I know that and you know and it was before covid-19, and when all of us leaders.

[11:44] It was all of our first time going through it like how are you reacting today how are you ready today yeah different counties had different rules like we were all in this vulnerable space and all of our people are looking for us, for the next step that day by day we had no idea we're like.
What are you doing what are you doing it like that's good that's good let's try this on an every single day that the power of that group man that's awesome yeah no that that well you're having an impact beyond what you know right that's awesome Yep so it was kind of like all right we need to spend one up, well if you and you've heard a probably but I'll give Melanie credit here is that.
Through us to kind of chatting about that some of our listeners have started getting together to so there's like other little industry groups getting together of folks are saying like hey.
I need that sort of a group to say aye yeah but I can say it in a safe space and nobody judging me and we can talk through it just like that kind of back to what you're doing just like what you're doing at the CEO we did at our treat our Retreat last year we do an annual Retreat and we all get together for a couple days and one of our days was you talked about the power of peers use me the power of peers have been around since you were a little kid.
You know all the bad things I did was watching my peers or and be encouraged by my peers and yet some of the good things actually rubbed off on me for my peers to but we've had peer influence since we were little kids early and yet for some reason or other we get to a place where we don't allow peers into our lives like men's accountability groups is a joke.

[13:07] Because you say I'm going to get there and be vulnerable with all these guys and all you do is talk about works really hard.
Well I don't know if I'm going to make the other schedule at the Boy Scout Troop this weekend and instead you're struggling with your marriage and you don't want to talk about it, that's how most of the things I've seen where there's this concept of accountability is out there it's just false sense of security and you brag diamonds accountability group.
Like that somehow protects you off the checkbook of wondering whether you're going to be making bad decisions yeah but most groups aren't really genuinely open about stuff no I I sat there firsthand in a church group.

[13:39] And I was not going to be the first to share because I thought my stuff was pretty twisted.
And a few people shared and I'm sitting there judging them well yeah like I got an junk that's what you're here for like.
Come on Bell like it so by the time it got to me I soften the blow because I was like I would like to we're gonna uppercut everyone with what I'm about to share like so I'm gonna Sue everybody like somebody to your I'm going to say it again just to make sure I hear what you're saying but what you're saying is like you're going on the Reuben guys like yeah you know like.
I need to buy new shoes and I don't know if I should buy blue under but G working a lot of hours I watch it horn like that, but even that to me was like so and then it comes around here like oh yeah I just have a few things going yeah that won't say like here's what's really not anymore after seeing several other guys share some things that I considered far less over time you figure out that's their Mountain sure like, yes all equal Level Playing Field like well in their world right total for them and that's why we wrote this book nobody cares was because we really felt that nobody can hold you accountable.
You can only hold yourself accountable but we don't create an environment where people want to be accountable.

[14:48] And so since I've watched so many bad examples of accountability that are under the guise of accountability we needed to set the bar again accountability is only with you now you can invite people into your story and you can tell them to inspire them and even to talk about it which reinforces in your own mind but if someone's going to hold you accountable to not do something and they ask you how's it going you could lie.
And we often do and and I have an employee I have one I have one employee and Angie's awesome and shall see how many sales calls you make this week how am I going to make 10 this week or how many going to make and then at the end of the week should we review on we're doing EOS to so rl10 means how many sales College I met Kenny.

[15:29] Okay what did you do fire me right well I thought you make sales calls well I had this thing come up this okay well how about this week There's No ramifications.
So it's a blank check especially as a CEO you get away with whatever you want it's your roll you're the guy in charge I mean manageably intangibly she's like well I don't need to do my stuff that's right there's our there's always a ripple effect to it but after a while that getting away with that long enough you start to make your own rules.
But if you're in a room with a bunch of other CEOs or in your case group you must see this.
If you're saying you're going to do something you come back you didn't do it there their merciless what's wrong you say you're going to do it when I get oh you're busy we're busy too and all the excuses that we could get away with their employees with you can't get away with your peers right.
Because peers understand the truth of that.
It's very different so in the approaching this idea of nobody cares we really started to think about how many things have been excuses that are comfortable for us that actually hurt us we talked earlier before we started about getting away with stuff and in our lives we can get away with things and still run the business because who's going to challenge us were in charge and so you say you're going to do something you don't there's no accountability to that up until it becomes ugly and then it's in your face but that can Godzilla damage along the way so in trying to create a book that would tell this story we shared our own personal stories in there but we looked at the four things that always trip people up.
You blame someone else you make excuses about things you say you can't or you just wait and Hope.

[16:53] One of the examples we put in the book is the story that Kathy and eyes alive and we're very transparent about that we had allowed ourselves to get into a lot of debt.
It was really ruining our marriage and it was ruining.
My life and four years starting my own business I didn't do it well and I was not accountable to anybody and so I just kind of didn't grow didn't make profits didn't track things didn't organize stuff just got away with it whatever I still existed but I kept getting further and further debt.

[17:20] And at some point we said in 2019 I don't like living in debt I just feel this stress we've got to make some changes and so we decided that year if we don't, if the Lord doesn't decide to bless us I love that phrase if God doesn't decide to bless us you live in America you're already blessed you have an amazing wife your blessed you don't have some disease both legs work your blessed but I equated blessing that he gave me a hundred thousand dollars to get out of debt hmm and he's like dude I've given you Millions what you do with it once you do with it I want to give you more and so that was our thing if God doesn't bless us with a bunch of money we're going to sell the house and start over.
And so as the year went on we were just like Lord please give us money I don't want to sell this house we had a beautiful home in Frisco 3,500 square-foot movie theater upstairs all his great big furniture was beautiful and I couldn't afford it but I was living like I could yeah so in September I got vertigo for 16 days.

[18:13] I couldn't sit down I couldn't lay down I could slice it up I couldn't sleep couldn't do anything I was 16 days my Kathy you're screwed.
Because if I have vertigo rest of my life we are we're going down the drain.
I can't can't do it hard to run a meeting with yeah so finally it went away praise God and then I said okay that's it we're selling the house.

[18:33] That Society commands not going to happen and we're stupid so we cried and.
Discussed in but she was such an amazing supportive wife that yeah this is this is come between us and God anything that becomes more important than God is an idol and that's when a guy thinks that don't have any Idols before me and all the thing we ever put money to ever put our thought to us how we need money how we gettin money how to get money how do you keep up with our bills all that stuff was an idol already caught that but it really was so we decided to sell the house.

[19:03] It was embarrassing our neighbors like why you moving like well I owe ninety thousand dollars in debt and I need to sell my house and start over and they're like.

[19:11] I thought you got a bigger house or so you know there's affecting the more traditional answer right but we had to own it part of your good for you are the process was not being a wuss about it yeah and we just we screwed up, and so we're going to own it and so we sold the house took a while but by March of 2020 we sold it and coveted kicked in so my son and I moved it all by ourselves there wasn't much to move because we had to sell our furniture to go in this little rental house we went to and all these beautiful this table dining room table goes 20 people I can take this in my rental bigger than a house yeah and so we sold it off for pennies on the dollar movie and probably weren't sitting at anyway but not enough yeah.
So we moved in this house and started over and then covid took over the world and I remember the first morning I got up and I was sitting at the couches early.
April and I had this really weird feeling and I was like what's that feeling.
That's peace mmm I'd forgot what it felt like to have peace because I didn't have to go to work I wasn't panicked I wasn't in debt, he stresses and and I used to wake up every morning think if I work my ass off I'm still in debt and I'm still screwed.

[20:17] So what's the point but when it's all fixed I got back to that that Grant the groundedness of.
That was real peace and that's the journey that we talked about in the book is look nobody cared that you were stupid with your finances and we cares you have a lot of debt nobody cares the market isn't doing what you want to do nobody cares that you can't sell.

[20:37] Make the changes that are necessary to own the life you want and I didn't want a life full of stress and strain I wanted a life with peace.
I can enjoy my marriage with my beautiful wife and and have fun at work.
You should make changes and that's what the book is about sometimes you have to make changes to get what you really want yeah get uncomfortable yeah.
As soon as the as the general premise then and I'm notoriously not a reader so sorry I didn't read it before but the premises that these are the four reasons then that you go ahead and make a change yeah or what you you kind of catalog through and blame excuse can't and hope is how I wrote them down yeah those are barriers to what there's the berries to change yeah the first step in really truly being accountable as you accepting the fact that your actions have consequences and most people would look at some problem and go well that's not my fault that's this and they blame and it's very quick to get it off your back.

[21:26] But blaming someone doesn't actually fix anything it just makes you feel better for a second.
Yes a little endorphin rush it's not my fault so that makes me feel like the problem is less my problem it's you did it is still there but you're pulling someone yeah and then if that doesn't work you make an excuse well the market really bad, well you know these clients aren't making good decisions and they're not paying us on time and you know all these things that are excuses but if you manage it right you wouldn't be facing these problems and so we make excuses and if that doesn't work then we say well I just can't hey I can't sell my house and move into a rental what that really means is I don't want to write and I could do that but that was humiliating.
And I like my lifestyle I like the movie theater upstairs I like this big old house I like my neighborhood and I didn't like having to tell people that I was stupid with my finances so they can't was really I won't.
And when we got over that we always say when the pain of where you are is worse than the pain of where you have to go you'll change all right and it was painful to be where we were just year after year trying to get by and so the I can't was really I won't so we got past that and then the last one was waiting hope hey maybe next year business will come around hey maybe this hey maybe that maybe I win the lottery.

[22:35] Maybe like 1,000 customers will call me up overnight say I want to be in your group here's 10,000 dollars you're stupid but how many people do that all the time making minimum payments on your credit card, is waiting and hoping yeah having a really bad marriage that you don't talk about do something to get better is waiting to help me.
And waiting hoping usually gets worse yeah you keep it around employee that is truly a cancer that is horrible and you put up with it and say well maybe we can do this maybe we'll do this you waiting hoping just makes the cancer spread.
And it rarely gets better yeah so when you're done with all those things that you use to hold yourself back and you finally say the magic words which is nobody cares nobody cares if you're fat broke.

[23:15] Horrible business to have bad employees have a bad nobody cares.
Unless you do and when you care enough to do something about it then you'll change yeah.

[23:28] Maybe you don't struggle with this I do with when you replace that Idol and you get your totem pole and check and your order of operations your.
Saunders or system however you want to say it what are you doing that I don't want to creep back into your life.

[23:41] Good question I I think you just have to look back at where you were and by comparison, you have to say that where I am today out where I am today now is give me more satisfaction part of what we do in the book is as these two wheels are called the satisfaction assessments not really high-tech but you just writing these wheels how satisfied are you.
And if you look at it you declare honestly to yourself it's your own private assessment where you are in your life and if you say I'm not living the life I want yeah and if you are willing to make a change then you can have more satisfaction why would you go back to something that you weren't satisfied with when you can't have what you want you get something else to try and satisfy it with if I have a bad marriage will be really successful in my work and that gives me some Joy because I can't have a good marriage so I have a good business, and that's where people chase but I wasn't satisfied with this so if I make ignore it it won't ever get better and so if you're honest with yourself and you look at that and say I really don't like that this whole book is about saying I'm not satisfied with something and I'm willing to change it.
And you have to come to that awareness that you aren't satisfied that's why we really ask people to take the satisfaction assessment do not skip it because without it there's nothing to compare there's nothing to focus on.

[24:51] Say more about that satisfaction assessment was a satisfaction creates energy, and the more satisfied you are the more energy you have in life and we all need more energy and so if you're not satisfied with something you say OK the wheel has all these different categories Business and Professional.
Business and personal and if you declare it listen I'm not satisfied with this or that like when I wasn't satisfied with my finances and I had a good marriage but frankly we thought about finances a lot.
It just constantly came in and then my health man I didn't go see doctor appointments because it costs money and I was stressed I wasn't getting good sleep because I'd stay up work really late at night it was affecting my faith it was affecting my health it was affecting my friendships all that stuff everything's suffered under this effort to meet a hold on to the house.

[25:35] And it wasn't willing to change one area of my life that would have this huge ripple effect and everything else and so when I'd finally decided I'm so willing to change that everything else got better even my perspective about things I didn't do make decisions and fear.
When you're tight for money you go on I don't lose this client totally because they need cash right so you put up with really bad employees and really bad clients because you need the money to survive when I did need money more I'm like why am I doing this this is not how I want to live my life this is how I run my business and I've seen a lot of people get to a place in your life where they've just settled and they said well my marriage is never going to be great so it's okay.
So if I asked him how would you rate your marriage ago it's a seven but when you really ask him when you were going to get married the night of your honeymoon.
The night of your wedding and your vision your marriage for the rest of your life is it that oh no oh no that's really a to, in light of that well that's where you need to go chase because you're not done yeah it could still be really hard but everything good is hard raising kids is hard run two businesses hard.
Even being healthy you got to work out you got to choose to eat certain food you got to get sleep got to take vitamins get doctor checks get your prostate exam and all that stuff that's hard you know we don't like that stuff but the reality is that, anything good is worth fighting for right and so just because it's hard in you've faced some challenges if that's what you want your life to be like don't settle.

[27:02] I'm very sensitive to the honeymoon period and it's all facets of your life the literal one when you get married but when you're on fire for a goal you start a new job.
Family items whatever the case may be your faith you come to Faith cut I got uppercut with that one specifically because you think you're there right like on fire what do you do in the fire burns out it becomes work you got to work towards your marriage you gotta work towards your goals you got to work towards your discipline you got to work towards your accountability.
It takes work and then you got to you got to wrestle against the idea that like oh I did it it should be easy now that's right yeah that is like I hear that walls but I feel like I hear that from a lot of different.
People is like know I did all the hard work to get here.

[27:48] And now it should be easy like nah man like you did all the hard work to get here so that you could have the hardest job yeah right and I think that a lot of times if we look at something as hard we've got the wrong perspective as to why it's hard.
It's hard because I'm an arrogant prideful man.
Marriage isn't that hard if you do it right where you do it the way Christ modeled it which is serving and being humble and caring for that beautiful bride that God gave you but in my own arrogance and selfishness it's very hard so it's not that she needs to change our need to work out things my marriage if I just wasn't such a.
Douche then I can probably show up at the game a lot better we'd have less arguments yeah I'm telling you 90% of anything we ever fight about is how stupid I am behaving at the moment yeah look in the mirror yeah so if I can just be a better version of me all the time my marriage is going to be better I'll be a better fight now my can't guarantee the results I can't guarantee that my wife's not going to have personal issues that I need to walk through valleys with her that's why you're committed then your kids you're going to pour into them do best you can but you can't make them turn out a certain way right anymore that you can with your business.
I bet all the people who started brand new businesses two months before covid hit the world have really had some hard challenges in our mission and lots of people went out of business you can't control that but if you ran your business so foolishly.

[29:00] That when covid hit you went out because you were just trying to get by some businesses grew covid-19.
Tammy runs a Manufacturing Company in one of our groups makes his old Dental scandals expanders exchange or two that makes it a little tooth little Crown she pivoted hate that word chuji adjusted and went out and found new businesses and brought in some whole other company have nothing to do with Dentistry to keep her team together she's got these Super Start smart PhD scientists and she is going to lose and he's amazing manufacture people we don't lose people start over trying to rebuild when things get better she brought in a whole nother business tooled up got supply chain good to get certified and it kept them alive yes so if she didn't have the cash to do that and the wisdom to do that in the people to do that if you had built the business that had those capabilities then you fell apart heck yeah so hard times really reveal the lack of character and discipline are most people in businesses they don't crushes they reveal, that you weren't ready anyway there's only a matter of time Mark that pin it you have Mark that man that's good.

[30:01] I literally marking it right yeah I don't usually usually he's listening so structure of these podcasts.
We usually pull wisdom nuggets to the front and I'm pretty sure that's the first time we were like.

[30:14] That one yeah for sure one for sure usually he's just he's making those he's like 20 minutes and 30 yeah I've been taking notes All Along The Wall here and I got crap all those yeah I'm just like go back to their that was that was great accountability it shows up in your testimonials your endorsements for the book it's on your one-pager how big is that both for yourself and for others and part appears in your leadership Journey.
Just accountability in general yeah I think accountability is that magic thing that if you want the life you really want then you have to know what that looks like.

[30:49] Simon sinek said start with your why and there's a lot of wisdom in that those of us who are Christ followers we look at the very top of the thing is say to honor God now you saying do with your entire life that's the number one thing and then second to that I am a unique purpose in my own life that's personal to me my unique purpose is to help people remove obstacles that keep them from being their best that's my purpose in life God's told me to do that I happen to have a job that lets me do that which is just the most amazing cool thing.
But I have a vision for my life and everything fits underneath that the countability is the magic that makes it happen.
So once you figure out what you want with your life and you figure out where you're not satisfied accountability lets you get there.
In it it forces the reality of it are you willing to change but without a Clear Vision of what you want to look like and that usually comes from purpose everything looks equally as valuable.
Without a purpose every decision is equally as much Merit yeah but when you know what that looks like accountability is the magic tool that frees you up to be able to do all those things and I think people are frustrated in life they're not having the life they want can I have the career they why I'm living I'm salary whoop.

[32:01] And I just got to keep collecting that paycheck and I'll work for that jerk boss because I got so much debt that I got to keep this job and and that's not life.
And then there they don't have the life that with their marriage they don't have the racer with their kids and there's this huge ripple effect.
Another topic that we can get to in another podcast if I'm ever invited back margin.
Margin was a book written by Richard Swenson and it talks about it in life if you don't have room for things you're living and overload and overload is not a good way to run, but most people in most businesses run on overload yeah look at someone's calendar they go from meeting to meeting to meeting to meeting to lunch meeting to meeting to meeting to meeting to dinner meeting.
And then they wonder why they don't make good decisions.
Because you're overloaded your brain can only handle so much and so when you choose to look at the life you want and say what does it look like personally professionally and then you realize where you're not satisfied with it you can actually put accountability into that process.
To have the life you want to me it was very freeing we Cathy and I decide we're going to be accountable.
To live the life we want and I'm going to be accountable with my business to have the business I want that means I'm going to be transparent and open and I'm going to let other people look into my books.
If you want to know something about a person look at their calendar and look at where they spend their money.

[33:17] That's all it is and so we're going to be available for people to know our teams going to know Angie knows how much money we make and you notice how we spend our money and our time because she's part of our team.
And we talk about these things because I want true accountability I think there's a like these two character traits go hand-in-hand to empower one another with.
With accountability and vulnerability exactly so when you put something like something in a book that's really revealing to you and then idle wants to come back and and and creep back in.
You can't like you can't allow that you're standing for something that's out and part of that story man you got it you got to walk in that and it increases your accountability if you're out speaking and speaking on principles that increases your accountability yeah like more you declare it that's right yeah and and of course the world's full of people have declared to be a certain way you find them having affairs with their secretary and yeah blah blah blah and Enron and all these kind of things but it is a more likely chance that you will be accountable to the life you really want if you declare it but it can't nobody can hold you accountable but by declaring it and saying like EOS does where you put it in writing and you see where we're going and you have rocks and you make plans all these pieces they allow you to be accountable if you want to but you have to want it.
And it's only by comparison when you go I'm not satisfied with my life that I'm willing to make the true changes that will get me where I want to go that's what accountability does.

[34:46] I'm going to I'm going to use your favorite word pivot us back to margin because man that speaks like directly to me I mean if you, my calendar is that calendar and it has been for a long time and it's I could say I gets kind of speak into why it ends up like that I'm not like making one of the I'm not blaming someone making an excuse saying I can't or hoping it fixes itself like I know it's a problem.

[35:08] Want it from your perspective on that issue like why does that become a problem and how do you then when you're in the midst of it like create margin how do you undo it yeah in the mindset of margin you're never going to embrace this unless you really believe that there's a limit.
Most people run like there is no limit and so if I would say how many great decisions can you make in a day 10.
1,000 so at some point you go no that's ridiculous I can't make 1000 even for sake of time right so we believe there's a limit well if you take your load.

[35:38] And then you compare it to the Limit the differences the margin.
But what we've done is we've got so used to living with so little margin that we're used to that feeling what we don't recognize is the quality of the work we're doing when we're under that yeah when you go from meeting to meeting to meeting to meeting where's the time to download the knowledge you just got that meeting.
Where's the time to handle that phone call from your spouse's says I got to talk to you right now or the employee was waiting outside the door can I have five minutes your time I know you're busy I just need five minutes.

[36:07] And in what you do is because you don't create margin you give them a hard time I'm really busy what does that say to them oh you're not important right and what if you really needed to hear what they're doing right and you miss something right well your cars being broken into feel like you're too busy for me buddy and so when you purposely schedule your time is easiest one because all four categories time, finances health and emotions is what the book talks about I can measure my calendar and I can look at that go that's insane you're working that many hours and then we brag about it like oh man I was up till 2:00 in the morning rocking this out you're an idiot isn't this your company why are you working till 2:00 in the morning let someone else work for you till 2:00 in the morning or better yet have something to organize where we don't have to work to to in them that's right.
We it's like a badge of honor to talk about how overloaded and exhausted we are I worked out of 60 hour week last week and when I was in construction I have a lot of clients in the construction industry then they sleep in their car.

[37:05] And they'll sleep the go do something got to be there for a while then asleep in the car for three hours go back to doing it watch another part to sleep in a car for car where's your family life.
Where is it they're giving up something for that nothing in a vacuum so, if you if you look at the counter and you're realizing I don't like the way I live again this comes back to nobody cares.
If you're not satisfied with it they fed into each other by the way marjina margin I read that book and I struggled with it for years how do I teach us to my clients and I put it off for two years until I really was able to own it.
And then that led me to write nobody cares with Salem.
And that fed into it but if you look at this you say I don't have room to breathe or think or live my life.
Want to do some bad why can't know that's a lie that's under the nobody cares lying you can't you just don't want to and so margin creates this expectation of living the life you want and.
Time finances health and emotions and if you just really look at those four categories and you create margin room for Interruption room for the unplanned.
And dare I say room for God those of us who are Christ followers if you believe you serve God and he doesn't have the right to interrupt your day you don't serve God.

[38:21] Let's say he says right now go and call your buddy Joe who's going through a tough time as marriage I don't have time I got to go meeting meeting meeting spot stop and care for that employee walks I can't go I got a meeting to me you're not putting any room for God to interrupt your day you have booked him out.
My fact you started your first meeting at 6:30 at a breakfast where was your time with the Lord to get your head on right for the day I don't have time for that.
You've pushed got out and then you've kept him from interrupting your date where does he actually fit into your life I'll just visit him next Sunday.

[38:51] Yeah margin creates room for God to rule in your life for you to have a relationship that's deep where I can sit and have a cigar with a friend and not be in a hurry or I can listen to music or laugh or do something for me and take a break that by the way brings me back more energy which I do a better job you make better decisions when you have room to think there's no room to think you can't get anything done and we're so used to just knocking stuff out at 10:00 at night you're sitting from the computer still trying to make really good decisions, after a whole day of emotional abuse and then your wife's mad at you because you didn't come home or time and you'd miss the time with the kids and you feel bad and you're guilty and you're still working.

[39:28] What kind of decisions you make it at that point oh yeah that's where accountability comes down, because you're in charge you can do whatever you want you can make crappy decisions and people have to put up with it mmm you say things in emails that you regret but they're so he's in a bad mood.

[39:40] That's not the way I want to treat my employees then you got to shake it off when you get home some days that day so they don't you're the people are closest to you don't get the worst version of you another I was guilty of that more times than I can count man.
And I get some days I have to literally Shake It Off like alright that wardrobe day coming in I'm coming in hot I'm going to love my family I don't.
I don't succeed at it every day but I put my effort you know make that part of your routine to come in let them happy detox have a routine where your kids make you laugh where the the by comparison the joy of holding my little daughter in my arms and reading a book, every other thing of that day seemed useless yeah so as to have some routine that helps you process that it is awfully hard to shake the roles of a leader that the final decision makers carry a burden the other people will never understand but when you come home it's sometimes hard I'm on a phone up until the moment I get in the garage yes I have a real don't come in the house on the phone.

[40:34] Because you don't need to bring your crap in the wrap up your calling as your family sits and watches you so you got the phone Alison you're walking being a good guy but have a plan where you can say I just need five minutes to hold you in my arms and sit there and hold your wife's hand and talk to our your husband's hand depend on anyone who's listening but to have a plan let them be a part of your journey of being the better version of yourself yeah let them be a part of that there's nothing wrong with that as a leader you have that choice like you're talking about we have all a million choices yeah the choice to tell I told somebody yesterday Quinn's walking up to the door I gotta go that's my daughter's name respected they're not like yeah well that's offencive right they're not going to think that I like oh who cares yeah exactly I don't think I want to work with that person that's right, like how dare you yeah put your family over me like who are you pal yeah there's a few weeks we know at the strap one more thing that we know we can do it differently because every time you go on vacation what's it like you get everything done.

[41:29] Because you're going to go on vacation I'm going to take my laptop with me assuming you do that let me go vacation take a week off and not check my emails right you get everything done in that time, because you know you have to and we say well I'm not going to worry about that I'll do that later we make choices all the time yeah why can't we live everyday like that.
Why can't you just say look I could work till 2:00 in the morning but I'll live my life like that.
So if I'm not going to work at to in October to 10 I'm not gonna work at a Thai could stop working at five mmm I mean really stopped working we could do that besides we own the company.

[41:59] And yet we don't give ourselves the power to do that we're releasing it to some other goofy task or responsibility you have control over that yeah.
I cut you off I'm sorry I don't even know what I cannot oh yeah I have a whole group of folks I'll talk to on the phone and as soon as I say is gonna kind of come back to your point I'm like I'm in the driveway that's just like.

[42:18] Like okay bye yeah like mid-sentence make conversation like it's over it's harder when you're on like a actually business call or whatever but there's a you know a group of us I think I probably do it to you from time to time like hey I'm home all right boom it's over right because I have the same rule like I'm trying I'm not walking in the house while on the phone like that's kind of coming into a whole new set of like rules and what's been going on and I'm not bringing that.
In here but it's hard it was very unnatural for me and it took a lot of work before became more natural.

[42:47] I mean my totem poles been upside down most of my life yeah and you figure out that it's an order of operations if I put God first I show up better as a family man.
And if I'm a better father and husband I actually show up better for my form I'll eat the people needing right like it's not like God God is at the top.
The other two don't matter it's like no no no if I start my day with him include him throughout the day I'm going to be better in these other areas.
And if I keep that cycle rolling and rolling rolling I become a better person it just you think like yeah but if I don't solve this fire on work.
I'm not going to have time for the others but when it stand on its head it just doesn't work I think most of our issues our employee issues their people issues that relationship issues it's not like.
It doesn't work it's not like the machine's broken it's the people who are running are broken in for a long time they call that soft skills and people would say I don't pay it for soft skill training that's ridiculous and and okay well do you have robots in your shop I mean don't you have human beings and, the soft skills is the communication the understanding the dealing with human beings and it all the problems we have our human being problems.

[43:55] It if we could get better at just acknowledging the the investment in the human being part of our Lives gives us better return somewhere else would be smarter we'd have better results when you look at margin.

[44:07] I can't measure emotions but I can measure my calendar I can't measure a motion by commissioner my finances I can even sort of measure my health.
How much sleep I get what do I eat how much do I work out what's my blood pressure all that can be measured and tracked so I can do something for all three of cash by can't measure my emotion, ever drive down the road and I'll summon someone cuts you off and you just go ballistic yeah you're honking you're giving the finger all this kind of stuff what that come from well you thought your emotions were under control because you're used to running at such a high level of emotion that's normal for you yeah you're off in the yeah and but one thing also and you break loose because you don't you're not as cool as you think you are, you're just learning to live under stress and so one employee comes one issue and you just go crazy right so why don't we be really intentional with the three categories of time.
Finances and health.
And be really smart to build margin in those in hopes that we guard the emotional bucket and so if I know I'm having a bad day and I got to call my mom's in the hospital my mom fell and broke her femur bone she's 92 it was a really big deal and I couldn't fly because I had a detached retina, and it was healing I couldn't get on an airplane I felt so guilty my mom's suffering I can't go be there to be by her side so all this guilt also motion and here I'm going to go make the good decisions today yeah you know we don't we don't factor that equation in there, and then all the other things that go into that all day long with kids and marriage and all the health issues that come up I also have a blocked artery that came up in the last quarter this is a motion to add to your equation.

[45:31] If you're not guarding your margin you're going to bust some where these three can be controlled and measured.
To protect the fourth one which is emotion well what's the how after you do that like that I'm sure it's in the book The you solve margin.
But now how do I protect my emotion.

[45:50] There's a lot of steps she writes about this is Swensons book he writes about simple things you've heard of box breathing you know you calm your body down even intentional in our meetings I have toys every meeting, tables covered in toys we have flowers we started we're doing a lot more to build common to the meeting so we bring flowers to every meeting I just got this sand art thing you know we're just doing things intentionally to create things are going to become we also have ways that we talked about in our meeting when we check in and we used to give a score but now we're talking about all four categories or margin yeah so we're doing things too add cam to your motion but the one of the best ways just talking about it having someone you can be honest with those of us who are Christ followers we get to take that to the Lord and we get to.
Shit and bask in the truth of God's word that says everything is under his plan and under his authority and even though it's hard he's still in control so the reality check where we take thoughts captive.
And we don't believe lies we don't spiral out of control we just go okay Lord I know you got a plan for this I'm going to rest in that you are.
Helping control your emotions by claiming the truth of God's word so that works for us those who don't know Christ I don't know how they deal with it the same way and sadly a lot of my clients use booze.

[47:00] And that really doesn't fix anything because now you're eating up your health so now I got to go to doctor appointments because my liver is not working I'm fat and I can't breathe right and and then that also causes money it was because now I have to pay for all this stuff and it's time was because I've been a doctor appointment you all these things are connected but you think you'll fix it with a bottle of booze and it yeah I'm not against having a drink I'm just saying that if your solution is ended up having getting liquored up every night.
You're not helping yourself that's right I would to the emotional component part of that just my own personal experiences when all those others are maxed out.
The smallest thing is the biggest thing I've had this conversation with a bunch of friends of mine where.
It's like I can take like give me like I'll take a sledgehammer like I'll take the biggest thing you can hit me with and I was like okay that is get over that is awful but I can handle it right.

[47:51] But like when I press send them my email and it like the little dial comes up and it goes spinning for a second, I just like want to flip the table over like I cannot take it and it's all derivative I think like I'm obviously trying I have to really pointed questions on margin and I'm trying to like dig in and solve for but I think it's all derivative of like time like I have no time.
Margin which is spilling over any other places like that little tiny thing like I don't have time for that I don't have time for that call have time for dinner I'm like I have to go from here to here and so the little things.
Sort of trickle down into the emotional bucket or I'm like right which then skews your ability to do the next task you have what we don't measure is you know what is the effect of your emotion going awry on the next thing you tried to do right and it could have been a five-minute action just go do this but I'm so mad and I'm so frustrated can't think clearly and I made the wrong decision which I got to clean up later on and the ripple effect of all that, we have started applying margin in our lives in the last couple years and by slowing down and making more room My Life is Richer and Fuller I have more availability for my clients and for fun.
One of our core values is fun.
People don't have fun anymore used to be what golf in the middle of the week yeah it's just people don't do that barely even go to lunch unless it's a business lunch why don't you go hang out with your friends.

[49:07] The bike in the mode they read a book laughs I mean it's just it's simple stuff but we're not having fun and I want to have fun in my life which requires I create margin so I can enjoy my life and have more fun I love that I looking back.
Just reflecting in this episode I think sometimes I give the negative emotional reactions Power by talking about it in a positive light and joking like Chicago Kevin's coming out.
And that my worst is every Saturday morning I go on a 10K I run on the sidewalk, and more times than not I almost or actually get hit by a car I'm not kidding well they'll see you, like I'm going to beat you through this thing and II am in the window and I'm looking at the hash like I'm get out of the car right now and they're like.

[49:54] I gotta get two different when you're both in cars right and you have this, metal protecting you but when one psychos outside looking down at you like I can open this handle right now it changes I'm not proud of that I've stopped giving that power of that oh it's Chicago can that's a lazy excuse so nobody cares that's right what would you do what would you do in this case it is the last one I did it happened again and I waved and smiled at the person so you have the choice how you respond that's right you also have a choice not to jog that's well well you do yeah okay you also have a choice to set your expectation real.
Everyone is a psycho who doesn't pay attention on the road you're an idiot if you run into public because they're going to kill you and so these are the choices we make right so I can write the gym I can go off some country trail by just get chased by a dog.
There's a lot of other things you can do in life, but if you have unrealistic expectations number one cause of fights in my life has been unrealistic or unexplained or unexpressed expectations that's big thank you big do you have an unrealistic expectation I'ma go jogging and no one's going to try and kill me it's unrealistic.
So part of you created a world where you can have more satisfaction is by setting expectations of what's true and what's real yeah and then people get mad at all my employees are so stupid will have you trained them did you communicate well did you give him time to learn it have you given the tools we talked about delegation tools training.
Communication oh my gosh I forgot and accountability how do you forget accountability so if you're not communicating with them give them the tools and training to do it it's your fault.

[51:23] And you want to hold your employees accountable but you never gave him clear communication what it really means to do it you'd never trained them and you don't give them the tools whose fault is that you have unrealistic expectations what you're going to get out of your employees when you've not done your job as a leader and then everyone's mad at everyone yeah.

[51:39] And then there's authenticity are you walking the talk on those sort of things and.
Men A lot of people are not I can't overemphasize that thing that conversation we just had about expectations because I've I've been sort of delving out pieces of that advice, over the last month almost 20 years of why would someone act like that to which I will say.

[52:02] The only reason you're appalled at the way they're acting is because you assume that everyone acts rationale if you flip that pyramid and you just assume like know we're all broken people and everybody has a little hang up somewhere and we all sort of borderline on or are irrational and like if you just invert your like expectation pyramid all of a sudden you're like oh that guy's acting crazy.
Which is which is all that people act right and all of a sudden you're not diss you're not disappointed in them like you see like oh that's an opportunity for me to then do X or Y or fix or communicate or whatever and it I do it all with the kids too or they just don't understand like why would was Stella particular right now is just you know.
Girls and friends and stuff is like why would someone do that and like will because you actually did it to me last night actually I'll tell my own personal story Stella.
Is wonderful we got these little cakes in a jar from Laguna if you haven't had them they're amazing and she ate like a little piece of it is this is episode sponsored by ladina it should be yeah Scioscia yeah they have quattro's cuatro Leches Cake which is will blow your mind anyway so Stella.

[53:05] Took like a fifth or a third of the little cake and ate part of it because she wanted everyone else to share the cake she thought and then I grabbed it what did I do and just ate the whole thing like I ate everything that was left and she was like why are you doing that is like because I wanted to eat the cake and Ashley's like will be you're frustrated Scylla because you presumed that Dad, thinking about other people like you were when in reality I was only thinking about myself and how I wanted eat all the cake anyway the point of that being her expectations were messed up because she was thinking about everybody.

[53:36] That they would think and act like she did that's a really long way to get back to the point of that is huge and we tations are huge we're supposed to create tools we talked about a water line.
Core values are part of that our core values help us with what we expect from you my expectations are you behave like our core values in chasing our vision and Mission this is how you're supposed to behave so with those expectations and we train against them we communicate.
We given the tools and we trained against it then we can truly hold people accountable.
So if you want expectations of your behavior you've got to go through that process first otherwise it's all on you.

[54:14] He really is here's a fun core value story that I'll tell him myself just a little bit but as we're chewing on some stuff at the office right now.
Like why did this happen like how did this what is this issue and I had like a.
Had a light bulb moment the other day in this morning out pointed at it a cab I've pinned on my board and I point out I was like this thing happened because of this core value.
And you know concomitantly it because it was not defined well hmm and so because it wasn't defined well people took it and used that core value to X to do some things.
They have caused a problem it's not because they weren't.
Well intentioned or weren't living up to our core values you want executing like we expect it it's because we didn't communicate well and to find well what that value meant and how to how to use it okay and so there's been that like okay yeah we're going.

[55:03] Level the playing field of how we do things and what we stand for but it can't just be the three words.
And they're not in an inn by themselves it's kind of taken one scripture and saying well this is what the scripture says getting Jesus name you get it right well not with also says if you abide in his word abides in you then you can do that so we look at our core values our core values have fun, so having fun I'm not going to work I'm going to watch a movie today yeah but that's not yet right there's other ones that go with it like pursue excellence in sir Beyond expectation so you got to do all three all these core values come together so we as a team have to constantly talk through them and how they intertwine yes because if we're working together and we're working efficiently it's more fun.
But that you don't ignore one to get the other correct yeah that's that's a good like they all need it yes they are going to say it again that's great too.

[55:48] Kev I'm trying to figure out how to word this in a positive light when he walked into this office he's like oh those are cool core values what are they I'll just end the story there which means like.
You know these walking the talk with it it's important to him not just in his business but in business in general right in people's lives and I asked a person who was here.

[56:08] Do you know what the core values are and that person said no hmm and that person sees them every day.

[56:14] Zoomer by and I'll tell you what I have clients that I've worked with that have them all over the walls and I'd ask him in meetings what our core values.
And they can't repeat them so I would started going to do I was doing a working session with a company and I'd come every month and we work through.

[56:32] Doing stuff to work as a team and the first session nobody could save the core values are and so I gave them all list of their own core values and then a month later I had a test and it took like six months before they could actually write them down let alone say what, they met that's right and if whereas if we as a company put them on a wall and say like hey there they are goal it by him that's that's nothing you don't do that with your kids you don't give a Bible so here we go make it happen you talk to them and you live it out you model it and you make decisions against it that's what makes them become real was it somebody said I might have been Dave Burrows that if you're not repeating it enough that they make fun of you for it, you're not talking about it enough something like that it says it's a theme we talked about it at length last week we had some run-ins with it if people figuring out that they don't.
They're not living those words those words don't really match need to change them and update them and.
If you're going to have words on the wall they better be your identity the third be the DNA of your people get rid of them that's our change in our change your people yes right because your you have somebody that has an eye for it that looks like.

[57:30] Wait a minute not at all yeah I'm gonna unless you have something else there I'm going to give us a left hand turn real quick.

[57:39] You were spending time with lots of Executives CEOs in those groups and is there any.
Like I see these themes or hears things that they're typically wrestling with or any sort of anything that you draw through that that's like.
This would be helpful to know that everybody wrestles with.
X right now the constant theme I'm hearing from everybody is everyone is overwhelmed overloaded exhausted frustrated burned out those are the words I'm hearing from everybody it has to do with some certainly some of the effects of covid over last few years yeah I can't get enough people I Can't Get Enough products I can't get supplies I can't get, cash I can't get business we're all overloaded and once we got through covid then we had to go through the shortage of the materials and then the ripple effect and so everyone is just emotionally worn out and I I think that that's why we're taking all this focus on our group meetings is how are you doing emotionally mentally spiritually physically because you're not bringing your A-game to the party.

[58:40] And under the guise of ethics of Excellence people have chosen to.
Throw away a focus on a certain aspect of their life and trading for something else and I don't believe work-life balance ever exist.
There was a cool book by Andy Stanley called choosing to cheat.
He talks about you cheat work you check your family but you're always cheating something but even at that point we got to the mindset of work-life integration but that didn't work either that's where it led me to margin.
And under that mindset today people are using the excuse of Excellence as justifying why they don't have some part of their life under control.
But in our definition of Excellence it's pursuing the life is doing the best you can as you pursue the life you really want.

[59:22] So you get to decide what Excellence looks like in your life, and so I may not be the biggest most successful peer Group Company in the world or in Texas even but I'm going to have a good marriage to and I'm going to have fun and I'm have clients that I love.

[59:35] And I'm going to do all the things including run my business profitably and run it efficiently but that is a part of the equation yeah that's your benchmark for Success who cares what other people are mentioned earlier measuring most people do they spend all their time chasing someone else's numbers most people have no vision of Life they want to live in the first place so they just Chase your version of it yeah and since I don't have one I'll go to go with whatever is around me and everyone seems to be chasing this so I'll just join that too it's good point, really until you know what you really want how do you fight for anything.
So you should be able to figure out what does Excellence look like in your own life based on pursuing the life you really want to the best of your ability that is excellence and everything has to be above the zero line.
You can't have great business great finds his horrible marriage great skills physically healthy but no fun you can't have anything below the zero line so I'd rather see you lower the growth of your plans for your company this year.
By 2% and take one day off a week and go play with your kids, you can still be as productive you can still make as much money I can give you tons of examples of working with my clients over the years who instead of making the Top Line the number one goal they made the bottom line or some other aspect of their business the goal and they made just as much money profitability and everyone had more fun and they were still a very successful business and it was more enjoyable to be a part of the company, I've seen lots of stories like that yeah people need to go back to that today mmm that's really good advice you.

[1:01:00] Books books yeah do you crush it and what at the very end we're going to promote this and I was even thinking maybe we'll use this as I'll take a picture at the end of this but we'll use this as the post to so people can get your one-pager and see oh yeah it's available thank you but how we typically end is books and one big thing so like you've already mentioned margin but have there been some books that have just like been transformational and your life yeah.

[1:01:26] Probably margin it being the top one yeah certainly it led me to be able to write nobody cares I love a book called Experiencing God by blackaby it's old but it's very very good to understand God I.
I liked the book raving fans oh that's a good school.

[1:01:46] Man margin by Swenson is at the one Richard Swenson Joker it's old but it's really good.
I already mentioned choosing to cheat I would say Peak by chip Conley it's getting your mojo from Maslow talks about the Pyramid of Maslow, and how people just need enough to survive as a bottom and then they go to having more satisfaction at things but the top it self-actualization and we all need to move ourselves and our employees towards a place of self actualization sounds very hippie term but it really is a really thing if you're moving towards the best version of yourself and your employees are moving to the best version your company will move to the best version of itself so I really like how he writes that book dare to serve leadership is read by, Cheryl batchelder she ran Popeyes chicken and she only took the gig if they would let her run it with the servant leadership style and she that was upfront agreement and in her book she tells a story of turn around Burger King.
Sorry Popeyes Chicken which we got by Burger King.
And she's super smart and in the back of it it tells you how to write out your personal purpose in life which is how I wrote mine out so I like her book.

[1:02:52] And then built to sell by John warrillow is a great book for business owners really thinking about how do I, add real value to my business not just make more money and the last one I read this last year was unoffending Bowl.
By Brandt Hansen which really changed the way I look at how uptight Christians are including me.
And I was very uptight and I'm getting less uptight but he really just says hey you know Jesus was laid back, and we got to stop being easily offended oil and it really opened my eyes a lot so I there's two books out there undefendable but this one's by Brandt Hanson gotcha that's a good list probably half of them I never heard of two so I do love a good.
Despite the fact that I read a ton I love a good new book I'm like oh that's interesting because I went looked up Margin as we were talking at this was confirming his like yeah that one needs to hit audible boom.
Because I don't sounds amazing yeah it's a long read I'll tell you what I'll do is I'll come and present it to your team.

[1:03:46] Because it's a boring book and I love the guy I reached out to him and I got his slide deck of how he did his presentations he's a super old guy he's not healthy and I said I'd like to Champion your book long after you're gone and talk to his publisher and they didn't want me to and so for whatever reason so I said well I got a slide deck see you later but it was horrible it was like a picture of a dog with no words nobody meant to say so I created my own slide presentation out of it but I take the book into a very manageable.
For our session because it reading it is a bit of a chat log yeah, that's so weird like yeah you made that phone call to me like thank you that what a rocking chair moment right and these do hate intended pay to republish it to make it current.
And to shorten it down and they didn't they weren't interested.

[1:04:39] Okay whatever yeah I got it because you got your nuggets from it that you can't discriminate with your own spin on it not that it's and and help people through it so it's fine it is yeah it's a passion of mine so I would love to talk about it and have more people understand that Life is Richer when you create margin yeah I'm here for that okay so our kind of ending note is what's the one big thing I give you like a little talking point around it as you get to get ready to give it to us but of all your meetings and conversations and forums and chats and struggles and life's Journeys and of kind of what's a one big thing for me like one big takeaway, to impart to our listeners here's we end our episode.

[1:05:17] Man I guess the one big thing I would say is stop making excuses for living the life you're living and really get a grip on what you want your life to look like.
And then do whatever it takes to pursue that bible talks about if a guy found a filled with gold he sell everything he had to go get it or pearl of great price he would sell everything he had to go get it and, too often we just get in the Rut race of just doing what we're doing because it's all we know.
But if you really step back and say at the end of my life it's going to look like this and I'm going to be very happy go chase that mmm.
And whatever it takes I sold my house and started over and it was it sucked.

[1:05:56] But so does being in debt so does living a miserable life so is having a crappy marriage and so you have to make changes okay you're going to make changes one way or another.

[1:06:06] And I think it's more fun to be in control of that and stop letting someone else decide what your life looks like and you own it.
It's more rewarding it's more fun and you're in charge yeah.

[1:06:17] That is a nice little note to end on awesome episode man there's so many nuggets in there too and couldn't the best one I've ever done this is awesome that's that's what they all say yeah you guys are amazing really I just feel so special this is awesome yeah well thanks for hanging out with us how do people get ahold of oh yeah good touch of the end I'm on LinkedIn and you can go to our EF Dallas.com that's my business website you can go to nobody cares book.com and learn about the book I'm going to Scotland this summer for a month and I'm going to take everything I know and, try and share it with Scotland nice just put this on my heart and I'm sort of vacation it's a work month and so I am looking for connected that's not answer the question that's it so what yeah I want to go to I want people who know someone in Scotland who have a business that wants someone to come in and help them change their world and so we just God put this on heart we're just going to go do it and so Book Sales is great love to meet more people that I can serve and care for and help them live the life they want would love for people to reach out to me, we're going to be giving away signed copies and nobody cares so we now all know y'all how are y'all love that so cool we brought some we're going to give them away and reach out to him if you're interested yeah Robert thanks for hanging out with us man really appreciate it not thank you guys this is fun.